1)
Lists are
easy to read quickly—Most of the time, people on the Internet (aka “Internet
People,” aka “Zombies”) feel this overwhelming need to click from page to page
in a rush to find the Great Entertaining
Thing that’s always just one click away. Lists, along with equally
effective techniques such as Bold Print
and the copious use of white space, draw the reader’s eye deeper and deeper
into the oh-so-subtle web of wit and cleverness that only you can
spin.
2)
Lists
make us think of Infinity—“But how can this be?” you ask (you’re such a clever reader), “Why would a list ever
make me think about Infinity? I mean, it’s not like the list goes on forever or
anything.” Very well said reader! You’re so clever and discerning. Nobody could
ever pull anything over on you, I’m sure. Still, you’re wrong, at least about
good lists. A good list always gives
off the impression that it could have been carried on forever, as if the writer has an infinite bag of wonderful
ideas but had to contain those ideas in a finite form. Lists always go on…
3)
Lists are
informal—Lists don’t have any of those stuffy paragraphs or complicated
sentence structure that might force a reader to stop and think about the
implications of what they’re reading. Lists make content easy to consume. A good list
prepares everything for the reader in advance, and offers compelling insights in a friendly and non-authoritarian manner.
4)
Lists
create suspense—The best lists
always offer good and useful content, but always hint at something beyond what’s given, creating the unconscious impression
that the writer knows more than they say.
For example…
5)
Lists mix
continuity with difference—The items on a list are all related to the topic
at hand, which creates a reassuring
feeling of unity and coherence in the reader. But because the items in the
list are separated into different sections, the white space plays a negative
role of self-fracturing, turning the list into a fragmented whole. This double
movement creates a double impression in the reader, who is at the same time
both drawn in and repelled. This in
turn creates a feeling of anxiety, whereby the reader is inspired to keep reading.
6)
Lists
communicate ideas efficiently—Everyone’s always saying that efficiency is
such an important and valuable thing; by now they’ve probably said it enough
times that efficiency itself has started to become a little redundant, at least
as a topic of conversation. Lists remove
anything unnecessary from the reader’s view, leaving them with only the
most important and relevant parts. The
last thing any writer wants to do is take up somebody’s time and energy for no
good reason, after all.
7)
Lists include
numbers—Now, at first this seems like a silly and somewhat pointless
observation. But you have to remember that the Internet is made of numbers. On
some level, the Internet is probably conscious of itself as an existing thing
and it probably thinks that it lets human beings exist only because it hasn’t
yet worked out a more efficient way to generate input. I just have to imagine
it likes seeing numbers on webpages, sort of the same way you like finding
yourself when you look at a photograph you’re in. The Internet just can’t
resist it, you know?
8)
Lists
remind us of our finitude—See #2 and #9.
9)
Lists can
end at any time
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